*Disclaimer*
There are six people in this story, and the future stories.
Sometimes prevalent sometimes not, but the main fakas are Me, Alex and Luis. I’ll
use their name in here because I know they don’t give a shit about what I say
happened in Palau. They say what happens on deployment stays on deployment.
This statement is true and the devil is in the details, but this is a pretty
good summary of what went on none then less. The point of view portrayed is
contradictual (is that word) and controversial to some, I don’t care. This is
how I write. This is how I’ll always write. Take it or leave it. I’ll start
this with a quote from a long time ago told to me by my good friend Manny
Pangelinen when we visited Palau together. I remember him saying, “Chelu, Palau
is a place, where many men dream, and a few men tread” fucking eh right Manny,
Fucking eh right.
So There I was…The first day I got to Palau was around 0700
on a Saturday afternoon. Since I’m not
attached to the ship I didn’t need to stand duty or be a part of the nightly
shore patrol. So I formulated a plan with the ship rider when we left Guam
about 5 days ago on our fishing trip. This guy Carter Yamanguchi was the same
guy that took me and some boys out and we landed the second biggest sailfish in
the world. Carter was the fucking man on the island. Everyone knew him and
everyone knew that he was a great fisherman.
He was a Marine Patrol Police Officer for the Palau government and we
were doing boardings under a bilateral agreement with US and Palau. He was kind
of a big deal. The law enforcement methods our two countries use makes me
envious on the freedoms of what other countries are able to do to gain
compliance without fear or disregard for civil consequences. Pretty badass if
you ask me. Kinda like a wild west themed only on the water. Anyways…
The plan I geniously formulated was to get a rental car,
hotel, haircut, stickers for my best friends case, and Taro wine to booze and
bring back. I had a ride lined up, to take me to get a car and I had reserved
our boy carter to get us underway to dive on Sunday. Six of us total. We were
to split all the costly stuff via 6 ways, so our car, hotel, and fishing
excursion was going to be around 600 total. Pretty cheap considering we are
hitting the ground running. We finally
are allowed to leave the ship and I start looking for carter to take me to the
car rental place. Come to find out, he already left. I said fuckit and I
figured ill just hitch hike it to the place. I had my two loyal companions with
me on this journey and they were down to do anything. This made it easier to be
mobile and slick allowing me to still do work but have the backbones of some
good guys to help me with whatever I needed. As we got off the boat we had our
4th man ready to tag along with us. But we lost him somewhere on the
ship. And I saw our other two boys already in a rental. I guess carter took
those guys to get the rental for the ship already. No problem and it was a very
adaptable situation. So we jumped in and realized that our sixth man wasn’t
going to be able to fit. He was still MIA on the boat somewhere. As were were
leaving he came out and we told him that well be right back and to just stay on
the boat and wait for our return.
Since we had a car and were on our way to the rental place. I
had the boys go and drop me off to get some taro wine to start our day. Taro
wine is the local moonshine and it will really fuck you up if you drink too
much of it. It cost around 1.50 and comes concentrated in a small water bottle.
Come to find out… there is no taro wine on the island. Like its all sold out. I
was like wtf. They said that the machine that makes it was broke. We literally
stopped at every store to find fucking taro wine. After a futile attempt we
stopped at the local BOH to grab cash. It was cool cause I started drinking
after buying some soju. The whole ride
in the car all 5 of us were busting each others balls. Alex was the champion of
that and he was talking the most shit. All in good fun, let me remind you, but
still he was the most biggest shit talker in the car. That is until Karma
kicked in… I guess Alex had an allergic reaction to the soju and his upper
lipped swelled up to the size of a groupers. Literally it looked like he
fucking had Botox in his lips. I remember him asking me “K is my lip getting
swollen?” You probably guessed my
response “Nah brah your lips look good, cant even tell” this faka looked like
bubba from Forest gump except it was his upper lip that was sticking out. I think
I even heard someone say “careful you don’t get it stuck on a trip wire” in
reference to the movie. Lol he was pretty quiet after that.
So after the bank we went to the local grocery store
payless. Mainly to get a redbull. They don’t sell redbull in this part of the
pacific at least not carbonated ones. The RBs out here tastes like syrup you
would pour in your iced tea. pretty shitty.
The Hertze rental car place was next to grocery, so I was about to head
in when the boys told me that Alex was in the store looking for the rental car
guy. He was like a hunting dog, Looking for the rental care dude while he was
grazing or shopping or whatever the hell he was doing. I went in after Alex and
found him in the baking section of the store. We literally were trying to
negotiate a car while looking at baked breads.
He informed us that pretty much the entire island was sold out of
rentals cause a Korean ship was in town.
He was in the bake shop making phone calls for us. he was trying his
little heart out. But to no avail. We needed an SUV, a van or and truck to make
this Palau trip work. He told me that he could get a van the next day but it
would be his auntie’s one. We said yes and shook hands and left that place. I
had just booked a rental car in a grocery store, didn’t even have to step into
the friggin car rental place. Afterwards we went to local burger hut that was supposed
to be our after party eating spot every night.
Got some chow and started to day recon our places where we were going to
party at that night.
The boys wanted to dive and I only knew one place we could
dive at. It was back at the marine police station. So we stopped there to ask
permission to dive, and I told them about my sad story of not being able to
find a rental car anywhere. I asked to
use the phone to contact carter to make sure we were still a go for the next
day. I also told him about us not finding a car. He told me to put one of his
guys back on the phone. And immediately that guy hung up and started looking
through the phone book to get us a rental. He was calling everywhere and doing
it fast. Finally he found a place we
could go. I talked to the owner of that company over the phone. He was a haole
guy and kind of a prick. He told me that he had a vehicle we could rent but only
for the day. But it was brand new and I better not put a scratch on it. Lol
this guy was talking like it was my sole duty to not mess up his brand new car.
Uh it’s a rental dickhead get over it. I told him yeah, yeah, And confirmed
with the boys if we could chip in for it today, Return it the next day and pick
up the grocery I mean hertz guys aunties van the next. They all agreed and off
we went back into the town (topside) they call it to the rental place. come to find out it was located in a hotel. And
there was a Palau chick that worked there. It was my time to work my magic.
Alex and Luis followed me in. but they were trying to negotiate a hotel stay
while I worked the rental. She really did hook me up. She found another vehicle magically and would
only charge me 45 dollars a day for 2 days or some shit. She said she wouldn’t
charge me for insurance and to call back to see if I can extend for one more
day. It was pretty cool. Alex worked out the hotel situation but I told him
that it was a bad idea to get a hotel if we are leaving early the next morning
to go dive. But I our day dive was still on today. We got a good deal on the hotel and he did a
great job, it was probably his catfish lips that sold it. Oh and I asked were
the partying was going to be at that night and she told me mingles was the
place to go. I asked if all her friends where going to be there so they could
party with my friends (doctor of love at your service). She said yes but if
they all act like me then they wouldn’t like us. I was like “what do you mean how I act” she
informed me that I was too aggressive and playboy like. I don’t think she
understood my confidence level. It’s
that fine line a gentleman walks. That line between arrogance and confidence. I
thought to myself how much of a stuck up bitch she was and didn’t want to hang
anyways. She had moles on her face and kinda looked like a dark Nanny Mcphee.
We went back to the boat and got our gear ready and loaded
up our suv. Oh and come to find out, That our missing man didn’t wait 4 hours
for us to get back. Lol I was so apologetic to him for leaving him hanging like
that. He was cool and ended up renting a car himself. It was then that I
figured that he wouldn’t be hanging with us the rest of the day. Or would he? So
off to the marine police station we went. I was so fucking excited to jump in. I’ve
been sailing for like 2 weeks and my scales were dryer than shit. We get to the
station and start setting up gear. I’m thanking the police officers for hooking
us up and helping get us a rental. As I’m about to jump in. I notice… I don’t
have my fucking fins and mask. Lol I left that shit on the boat. I thought of
my Darling telling me “what are you? A fucking rook?” I smiled and told the
boys I had to go back and get my fins. I was going to send Luis to get it, but
he left his glasses conveniently onboard so he couldn’t see. I rushed home and
got my fins. Went back and they still hadn’t jumped in the water yet. Lol I got
my gear on and splashed.
The water was typically warm for the location we were at.
Kinda murky and we dove for a about an hour and a half. Luis never dove before
so I showed him some shit. The funny thing about it was, it was all shit that
could get him killed. I would point at a lion fish and say “you see that lion
fish? It’s one of the most beutifullest but poisonous fish in the world, if you
touch it you fucking die” then later on “you see that sea snake? Its small and
seems harmless, it’s the most poisonous snake in the world, if it bites you ,
you fucking die” then lastly “you see that bear clam, biggest clams on the
planet, if you get caught by it, it won’t let you go and, you fucking die.” I
think he got the point.
That dive was a bust, and it was no sweat off my back cause
the real fishing was tomorrow. Come to find out we were diving in a clam
preserver anyway and didn’t belong there. I told the security guy we were with
the marine police and we were just leaving. That shut him up. And we left. We
then washed up gear shook hands and rolled out. The sun was setting and it was
time to start our night time adventure.
We rolled 4 guys in one and 2 guys in another. Our boy that rented a car gave his car to Alex
and his partner and we were to rendezvous at the local park and pregame before
heading out to the bars. We ran to the grocery store and bought some bottles of
Hana bay rum and some cokes. We had a cooler and ice already. As we drove to the park, the rangers were
closing it up. And we didn’t have an alternate plan. So we stayed there and
guess who shows up. Carter. It was amazing that in the dark parked on the side
the road we thought we were concealed and could just lay low until the other
rental car shows up. But carter rolls right up on us. He said he’s been looking
for us and could tell it was me cause the way my hair was. Lol so funny. We
told him that we were supposed to meet with the boys and we didn’t have a cell
phone to contact them. He said he would ask around were we could go and drink
and he’d be right back. While were waiting one of the boys got thirsty, so we
decided to hang out in the back of the suv at the gate to the park and start
drinking. It was starting to look good for us. An hour later the boys still
didn’t return but carter showed up. He
told us that his auntie’s house had an area where we could drink and play
music. It was a good plan but still no Alex and his compadre. Oh and he brought
a flaky haole boy from the boat also. That dude knew he wasn’t invited to our
party but carter insisted that we be nice to him. Carter invited him out of his
car and we drank for about another hour when we finally had enough and went
looking for those two fucking guys. Come to find out they were at the bar we
were suppose to end the night. I rolled up in there and pulled the dudes out
and we headed to carters place. it was a little lighted area with some tin
roof. His family had a bbq going on and we drank and played music. So much food
there. After we were full and liquored up we headed to the clubs. We scratched
going to that bar mingles cause that’s where the entire boat would be. Not that
were anti social but cruising with certain types of people is a recipe for
disaster. We went from bar to bar, and they all sucked. It was Saturday and
everything was dead. The party scene here is not like Hawaii and Guam. Its more
mellow and chill with local bars playing Palauan music. I liked that kinda
scene but was looking for more hip hop kinda place. we would stop and send in a
scout to check to see if there was anything good happening in that bar. After
all failures. We decided to head to our go to late night bar. Called BLUE
CORNER. It’s a badass place with good drinks and good locales. The waitresses
are all Pilipino girls that are on contract for a year or two. I don’t play that buy me drinky game and if a
chick can’t enjoy a cold beer then piss off. All the boys had partners except
me and one of the other guys. They ended up going next door to a karaoke bar.
That’s the not the best part though.
Women love Vibrators, that pleasure they get when alone or hell
even with a partner brings a euphoric bliss sometimes only generator by their
own doing. Now imagine a Human Vibrator. That’s what mixing a 24 year old Latino
man and liquor will get you. We paired him up with the most active dancer of
this establishment and fucking Luis went to town. He literally was gyrating the
shit out of that chick. And to top it off… she wasn’t done with him. She kept
pulling him on the dance floor and hitting his switch to start his thrashing that
he called dancing. Me and Alex could not
stop fucking laughing. He was so exhausted. Like exhausted after a roll
exhausted. And she was still game. Come
to find out, they call her and I quote “the energizer bunny.” Not a pretty
woman by any means (kinda reminded me of a leather seat) but slim and trim and
full of fucking energy.
Alex and one of the boys left to go next door and after a
while of sitting listening to music I decided to go and look for these cats.
There they were and each of them had a pretty girl on their arms talking story.
It was a karaoke joint. I went in and was asked to sing. I dropped some lyrics
on the mic and rolled out. Back to the rap.
That place was getting stale quick. One of the boys was falling in love,
Luis was still vibrating on the dance floor, and oh yeah that one guy that we
left at the boat earlier that day. He was still with us the whole time. Just
fucking cruising, I commended him on his endurance. Yeah and carter was drunk
as fuck and got picked up by his wife Lol. Afterwards I went back to the karaoke
place and was talking to Alex and his pinoy friend. She was singing for him and
it sounded like a blown speaker, no more like a microphone when you get
feedback and it makes that loud sound. It was terrible. I told her she sounded
like a goddess. Yeah a goddess of god damn banshees. Fucking terrible. Lol she
told me that Alex didn’t want to sing. One thing I know about Alex is that
motherfucker can sing like a boss. I wouldn’t waste my time playing music with
that dude if he wasn’t as talented as he is. He simply needed a push in the
right direction. Told her to get me the
song book and ill pick the song. The song I picked “knockin on heavens door”
guns and roses baby. He fucking killed it and everyone cheered him. He was singing his heart out. Fucking
awesome.
Afterwards I got the boys rounded up and waited for Romeo to
stop falling in love. So we could go. He was the reason Alex and him ditched us
earlier that night. Fuckers. So we decided to head to our burger joint and get
us some late night rations. That fucking place was closed so we headed back to
the boat, and Romeo made us sandwiches and we ate bowl of noodles. Everyone had
a badass day and a bitchin night out. Operation success. This was just the
beginning of a 3 day adventure I will never forget. Tomorrow well be
fishing… TO BE CONTINUED
My next 2 stories will be via weblog. This one alone was
over 3400 words and its only fucking day 1 haha. I love writing but I need to
do some writing for my job (that time of the year again were I brag on wtf I
did for the Coast Guard) and don’t want to exhaust or mix up my antics of rape,
pillage, and plunder with my official work I need to do Lol. So look for me and
my 2 down ass niggas on the next one. Peace.
